Broken
by HarrySirius
Summary: His heart is shattered and there is only so much left to say. Zangeal OneShot.


This is for Jenny. It should have been a drabble but it came out as a short story. I hope everyone likes it, especially you, Jenny *hug*

Warning: Zangeal. Don't like it, don't read.

Disclamer: Zack and Angeal don't belong to me but to SquareEnix. Sadly.

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**Broken**

The first thing that popped into my mind was soft. Incredibly soft, but strangely irritating. The feather was softer than anything I've ever touched before.

There was no weight to it as it lay silently in my hand and I briefly wondered if the whole wing would be as soft and light as this single feather.

The wing... a sudden pain shot through my heart and I had to close my eyes. No - I rather squeezed them shut, trying to shut out everything that came with that single white feather in my hand.

It had to be a nightmare I tried to convince myself...failing miserably.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

The deep gentle voice startled me but I didn't show. At least I hoped I didn't. Ever so slowly I turned around, yet I could not face the owner of the voice I loved so much but barely reckognized because of the lingering bitterness.

"Came to finish me off this time?" I whispered through clenched teeth, knowing it to be nonsense. I wanted to hurt him so badly but failed to surpress the quiver in my bitter words. Whether I succeeded I could not tell because the man decided to remain quiet.

The silence streched and I still could not bear to look at him. My heart was beating painfully against my ribcage screaming for the man it loved so dearly but I tried to ignore it. As if I could have.

"Why don't you go on then? Get your revenge or whatever you're fighting for!!" I snapped, wishing desperatly that he would react in one way or another. I heard footsteps coming closer and my heart skipped a beat, yearning for his touch so badly. But he never touched me.

"So you finally came to see me for what I am?"

His words, yet spoken softly, cut though me like a knife. I felt anger rising and my eyes stinging as my head snapped upwards, my face burning.

"Fuck you, Angeal!!" I yelled, taking one step towards him, but still avoiding to look into his eyes. I wanted this anger, I needed this anger and I knew if I would look at these blue depths, it would vanish and leave me broken.

My whole body was shaking and my fists where clenched - ready to strike, but I couldn't not bring myself to hit him - even if I wanted to.

"Fuck you!! How dare you speak to me like that!! How DARE you!!!" My hands grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulled the taller man towards me and finally our eyes met. What I saw crushed my heart and left it shattered and bleeding.

I have never, in my whole life, seen a sadness this deep. Angeal's eyes were dark and haunted, a shadow of the startling blue I loved so much. Where I felt broken, he was. Broken in any way a man could be.

My arms fell to my sides while I struggled to pull myself together. This sudden realization hit me so hard I could barely breath and I hated myself for that. What kind of man was I that I could only feel my pain while the one I loved suffered so much?

In all these years Angeal had been there for me. He had been my strength, the one I always could have relied on. And now in the face of his breakdown I failed him. Because I was selfish. Because I could only see my pain.

Angeal still stood there when I looked up, watching me silently. He stood tall, strong and no one would have known that he was so close to the edge. Only his eyes betrayed his weekness.

I swallowed hard, trying to say something... anything, but no words came out. There was so much I wanted to tell him, but I somehow knew that it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

My anger had long since subsided and I only wished, that I could take that man I loved into my arms, telling him that everything would be allright. But it would have been a lie and we both knew it. Besides... he would have never allowed me to comfort him in the first place... and I never would have tried to do so.

We stared at each other for what seemed an eternity without ever blinking. I could feel his love for me and I was sure that Angeal felt mine, too. We had never been the ones to share words of love, it just wouldn't have felt right. And there had never been a doubt that we loved each other, so there was no need to say it anyway.

I don't know who started it but in the next moment I felt his lips on mine, so gentle, so forcefull, so desperate and above all so full of love.

We kissed and it started to rain, as if the sky knew this would be our last moment together as lovers. Certainly I knew this moment to be our goodbye and so did Angeal.

Hours later I still stood on the rooftop of the Shin-Ra-building, holding a single white feather in my hand, staring in the direction Angeal had left. My hand shook as I was slowly brought to my knees, finally surrendering to my painful loss.

I never came to knew if the whole wing had been as soft as this feather.

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Be kind and review.

Thank you. _HS_


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